Author of Stuff Christians Like is okay with violence involving Chinese cuisine.

Jon Acuff of the blog Stuff Christians Like is my doppelganger. We are so similar, it’s scary.

He’s a Christian; I’m a Christian. He has a blog; I have a blog. He lives in America; I live in America. I mean it’s like we’re twins separated at birth!

What? Not seeing it?

Okay, I know I’m deluding myself. He’s a talented hunk; I’m a talentless hack. He’s wildly funny; I’m mildly amusing. His blog has 1,952 subscribers; mine has 3. He shares deep spiritual truths; I’m as shallow as the water in a blow-up kiddie pool.

Clearly, I envy him greatly. And to make matters worse, it seems that God even shines on his mistakes.

I was listening to his new audio book when the aforementioned blunder occurred. Jon was speculating that Christians were okay with watching violent R-rated movies because of how much brutality is depicted in the Old Testament. He said, “I think that Christians read that and assume, “Cool. God’s down with some wonton violence. R-rated movies, here we come!”

Did you catch the goof? He said wonton (dumpling filled with minced pork), instead of wanton (without motive or provocation). Immediately, a movie action scene appeared in my mind, with the villain attacking the hero with gummy Chinese cuisine.

Then it occurred to me. Dang … he’s funny even while mispronouncing a word he’s reading from his own book! Can this golden boy do no wrong? The dude is Teflon. The Ronald Reagan of Christian bloggers.

Any ways, you can read the “Stuff Christians Like: Watching R-Rated Movies … but Only If They’re Violent” blog post (without the steamed dumpling reference) below.

Jon, if you read this, I have a question about movies with wonton violence: Are you hungry an hour after watching it?

Ehhh… I’ll stop now.

Stuff Christians Like: Watching R-Rated Movies … but Only If They’re Violent

The following is an exclusive excerpt from Jon Acuff’s new book, Stuff Christians Like. Purchase it on Amazon or at a bookstore near you.

For Christians, it’s completely okay to watch R-rated movies, but only if they got that rating because of violence. If they’re rated R because someone is getting their head cut off or there’s a battle scene that’s so gory, blood splashes on the camera lens, don’t worry. God’s cool with that. However, if the movie is rated R because of sexuality … well, I hope you enjoy your fold-out couch bed in hell. It’s gonna be a hot one, my friend. A hot one, indeed.

I’m not sure where this rule came from, but it’s true. Not only do Christians watch violent R-rated movies, we’ll quote them from the pulpit, build sermon series around them  —  even show clips from them during ser­vice. I call it The Braveheart Rule, and my theory is that it’s because of the Old Testament.

Have you ever read any of the Old Testament? It’s hardcore. Samson smashes ­people in the head with a donkey jawbone. A priest runs a spear through two ­people having sex. David carries Goliath’s head around like a bowling ball. It’s violent. I think that Christians read that and assume, “Cool. God’s down with some wanton violence. R-rated movies, here we come!”

But if there’s any nudity, if a single nipple makes a cameo at any point, forget it. Throw that piece of nonsense in the trash. That is horrible. We’ll have to wait until they show the edited version on TBS.


5 Responses to Author of Stuff Christians Like is okay with violence involving Chinese cuisine.

  1. I’ve always been baffled by Christians’ love for violence. I really don’t understand it’s okay for young men to play extremely violent video games. I’m pretty sure they’re not pretending to be holy crusaders, tearing limbs off of people and blowing holes through them in the name of Christ. I’ve heard a Christian father say he didn’t mind that his son killed and skinned animals in the backyard for fun. Eew, not cool.

    Furthermore, I do not approve of wonton violence either. I don’t approve of any kind of violence that wastes delicious food! Despicable!

    • David Wilson says:

      Hey Jenn,
      I like a good action/adventure film as much as the next guy, but don’t have much fondness for ‘wanton” gore.
      I’m okay with fishing and hunting, but understand why you wouldn’t have much stomach for it. Guess it’s a guy thing. I agree there’s no need to be needlessly cruel to critters.
      I do like eating them though.

  2. I don’t really have a problem with fishing or hunting. However, you won’t catch me on a hunting trip. I prefer to eat the animals, not kill them.

  3. […] Author of Stuff Christians Like is okay with violence involving Chinese cuisine. April 2010 3 comments 3 […]

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